There are certain things in life that you don't want to become, I just became one of those. There is no voice for you anymore, you exist just because you exist. There will be advices that are coming in from many sides, and i tell you there is nothing wrong with them except that you don't want to do it. And in case you have got an idea or thought of doing something other than what everyone else is saying it is considered to be an insane idea. And the moment you tell your view to anyone and talk slightly stubbornly on it they get angry on you. If you dont listen to them you are treated as stubborn and arrogant and got an bit of attitude. And then all you can do is to agree with them because you dont want to lose more people in life, you've already lost enough. Ah it feels terrible to be like this. All that you can do is to act like a freaking robot for sometime till you get to that time again when you can speak or defy everything and go against everyone and do according to your wishes. But i'll tell you one thing it takes lot of courage and confidence to do the second thing, and also you've to be very precise and right when you do it.