Many thoughts still remain in my mind, though sometimes my mind appears blank and plain. Life has changed, whether its good or for bad i dont know. But as the ultimate optimist which I am I sincerely hope its for the good to come by.

I live in a room alone thinking of the past, unconsciously my mind takes me through a trip down memory lane every night before iam lost in sleep. College isnt the same place that was earlier to me. Ofcourse things change with time but I never believed that people also do change until it happened in my life and with me too.

Although what all has happened has given me sometime to work on things I like, they have left some scars for life. Iam better person now but I always wonder why does it have to be the hard way? Cant life be learnt in a simple better way??

The days went by without me noticing...Life has been good and bad and all that it can be...I made friends...I had fun..its been months since that painful disaster....the wounds are still fresh when i think of them..yet i somehow spent time so that iam not reminded of it....there are moments when i felt iam in total control...yet there is a unknown doubt that lingers in my mind...I have learnt a lot all through these months...ofcourse the evil inside of me had its time as well...but i have been trying to cut down on the evil part...i moved on with my life in these months....preaching people where i have failed...a few had become close to me...i have seen the best, the cunning, the cruel and all other aspects of people....still i need to learn more....i write in confusing words that not many seem to comprehend but then iam that confused that i dont know what iam writing...all i know is write...which is what i want to do....

In a few moments of madness my life got frozen....that is all i remember ....may be i will remember this lesson for a long time in my life....the sine wave of hope continues to be there within me....making me to move on when it is at its crest and making me to stop and think when it is at its trough...

At this moment when iam about to go back to do the unfinished job....i somehow sense something bad...what is it..i dont know.....yet somehow...i have to do it....my patience iam beginning to lose it all again...yet it is stronger than ever....i jus hope that i dont make the same mistake again...

things that we done to ourselves can never be undone
only with time they can ever be forgotten
hoping for a new beginning will i ever be
hoping these times will i again never see
there is sunshine in the distant morning
and we shouldnt stop but keep going
all we have to do is live the darkest night
struggle our way past with all our might
i know one day we willl all be there again
jumping with joy, dancing in the rain

it kills me

Things change, people change but somehow the memories dont..they tend to forget to change..they always remain the same...when i was in college..as soon as i entered to my last semester i felt that iam gonna carry out some nice memories outta my college..but in a matter of month all was changed forever..there aint those sweet memories that i laugh about, but all i was left with was all those stupid fights, those moments of sheer madness in which more than jus a thing was lost, all the dreams that we hoped to, all those ideas we sit and planned, and the worst thing is that iam not still out of the college..i hate to go the college, but dont know..i have to go somehow..it kills me more..there is a sense of incompleteness that i feel..looking back at the things that happeneed and all those ppl who are so close not able to listen to each other and now being an world apart from each other and then having to know about each other from different sources when once we chatted like anything over the phones and whenever we meet..acting like as if things are fine between us when someone else asks us..being online but not even telling a simple hi to each other...ahhh..damn..it feels so sick to get that idea that we all are no more together....and a few things that have happened in the recent past which were a obvious consequence of our stupid acts makes me feel even more sick.........iam still sitting in the home..doing nothing..i wished to have a break after engg but definitely not this kinda break where i am licking my own wounds.....

As of now i just hope that all those friends of me are doing good..infact 3 of them have joined in job..so thats good.one girl is like me in home and the other is still studying as she should..all the best guys wherever u are..i jus hope u get the best in life and get what u want.....i dont know what else to tell..after having seen so much of all this....i am almost telling these words that i thought i wud never say..."Iam sorry i cant trust u ppl anymore".....and to the girl that i liked...."u are right ..u are not so understanding..i hope that u have heard what u want to in case u are reading this..."....hope all of u feel so happy now...but it kills me every single day......

three of the last 4 posts..except the one which is short(let me be) belongs to my frnds..but i quite liked them so i posted them here....

It's an exotic danger, and my life's such a waste
I'm just a burdening over-emotional mess
How I'm still alive is for anyone to guess
The longer that I fight, the more that I break
I wonder, can anyone tell that my smile is fake?
Running from problems won't always succeed
Sooner or later I'll have no blood left to bleed
But I can still run for now, so I'm running away
Fighting the bitter pain that comes day after day
For now I'll let the crimson tears stain my skin
Letting what's here waste away to what's been

let me be

Let me be your talking guide,
And always be walking by your side,
Let me be your listening ear,
And always hold your every tear,
Let me be your every breath,
And always be with you till death!!